


Of coffee and relationships

by lilibel



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Coda, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-11
Updated: 2011-05-11
Packaged: 2017-10-19 06:53:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/198136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilibel/pseuds/lilibel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post episode 1x23.<br/>Steve goes back home. Danny brings malasadas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of coffee and relationships

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by the ever so lovely [Etharei](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Etharei/pseuds/Etharei).
> 
> Some tiny-tiny bits of dialogues are taken from the hugs scene at HQ.

There is not much he can do, really. So he goes back to his house, his empty house, and just sits listlessy, on his couch, looking at the tv that he doesn't bother to turn on. Trying to process the fact that his partner is back with his ex-wife is requiring a hundred per cent of his brain matter, and he can't seem to understand. How could Danny not tell him? He is his partner. Him, Steve McGarrett, he is his partner and he thought, he had assumed, he had hoped, that he would be the one to know. To know that Danny is back with Rachel, to know that he truly has no chance with this obnoxious Jersey boy who really was not supposed to have come and stolen his heart. He tells things to Danny, he opens up to him like he’s never opened up to anyone, he cares for him and also feels cared for. Felt. He worries that they may never again get on like they did just forty-eight hours ago. Something is broken, some kind of trust, of bond, he can't really pinpoint it, but Steve knows that deep down, it is just going to be the beginning of a dance he knows better than anyone. The slow detachment, the tentative withdrawal to get out of a friendly relationship, the calls that go straight to voicemail. And it hurts him to know he is going to pull that off on Danny, he almost hopes for a call, the kind that will send him for six months in the middle of a jungle, somewhere. Because then the whole detachment would be justified, for his partner, for the team. And then there is Gracie, which complicates the matter even more.

He is tasting blood on his lips, but doesn't do a thing about it, because he is still thinking, still pondering, analysing, and slowly, yet very distinctively, driving himself to the brink of madness.

All he knows is that he has lost Danny, he has a friend, but who doesn't trust him enough to talk to him about that. He could have mentioned it and Steve wouldn't have pressed, he could have explained it with lots of hand and lips biting, but he hadn't. He could have gone on yet another rant about Stan and he hadn't. Danny had not said a word, and this is killing him.

When Danny enters the house, he sees Steve, eyeing the tv screen like it is some kind of extraterrestrial enemy about to launch an attack on the planet. He looks tense, his jaws are tightly tensed and he is biting his lower lip as if he wants to bite it off.  
He knows his partner enough not to go anywhere near him. Being the next casualty of SuperSEAL is not something he wants to experience, ever, and especially so soon after having been released from the hospital. So he puts the malasadas down on the counter and goes to the kitchen to make coffee.

"Hey" Danny turns around when Steve enters "what are you doing?"

Danny doesn't know if it's the eyebrows, the tension in his face or the tone, but suddenly Steve is pissing him off. He rarely has moments during which he isn't pissed at Steve, but he feels like all of Steve's anger is directed at him. And he really, really doesn't like that.

"Coffee. I'm making coffee. Is it ok for me to make coffee? Because you know the one they served at the hospital? Pretty awful. So I'm making coffee because I like it with my masaladas, is there a problem here for you Commander?

\- “No, no problem, I uhm…”

\- “No problem? Then why the sour face, why the "I am gonna go batshit insane on your ass" face, what have I possibly done to you so that you are treating me to the batshit face?

\- “Nothing, nothing, just do the coffee, I'll ... I'll take the bag of carbs outside."

And with that Danny is looking at the fine ass of McGarrett moving away from him. "Nothing my ass," he mutters while the machine bips, giving him a few more minutes to-  
Rachel. It has to be Rachel. What a stupid detective he makes. Of course. He grabs his two cups of coffee and heads outside. Steve is sitting, looking straight at him, as if he's one of the extraterrestrial beings from TV. Despite being fully clothed with his hands full, Danny feels pretty naked.

"Listen Steve, about-

\- I love you."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Steve regrets them. He was not supposed to say that. He had intended to hear Danny out, or in the case he had suddenly decided not to speak, he would have told him about not liking not knowing, because Danny is his partner and yeah, he had blurted out the three words like a stupid schoolboy. Now, he thinks, I will have a good excuse to cut communications. If Danny doesn't do it first. That's when he realises that Danny is talking to him. The coffee is on the table and those hands are waving around and-

"Do you even listen to what I am saying Mister I-enjoy-dropping-bombs-on-people?

-“Yes Danny, I listened, I”-

\- “Let me act as if you did not listen and just do a summary for you. Indulge me. Okay.”

\- “Yeah, sure, whatever." He sits back on the chair, pinching his nose and Danny just wants to smack the guy senseless. Or kiss him, or whatever, just so the frown being directed at him can go away.

"Two things. The first is Rachel. She is my friend. That's what has been going on for a while. My. Friend. Unlike a few months ago when you had to call the governor to help me with my custodial rights. Friend. We have been discussing. Chatting around tea. She needed to talk to someone and this someone was me. Her friend. That's why I am happy around her. That's why she was sleeping next to me at the hospital. We both needed a big friendly hug. Friends. You want me to map it out for you, maybe do a little diagram?"

He doesn't let Steve reacts to his rhetorical question and just keeps on speaking.

"No? Good. Second thing on my agenda tonight is that when I say that we have become very close, I meant it, you moron. You and I, partners, friends, late night phonecalls buddies. You keep grenades in my car, for fuck sake. I let you drive the car! I never let another man drive my car. See, I like you enough to ride shotgun in my very own vehicle. You are on the pick-up list at Grace's school. We ride to work together in the morning. I come make coffee at your place. We talk about our problems, we share theories about the bad guys’ next move, I commiserate on how Kono is turning into you. I am abso-fucking-jealous of Rambo-ette and you notice. And yes, I was going to tell you. But I also know you. You would have gone all badass on Stan's ass, or you would have tried to get me to tell you things I maybe wasn't ready to tell. Ok. And I don't need a near death experience to cuddle with you. I just didn't know if it would be well received. That’s all. Now you can speak."

And because he'd poured all his residual energy in this speech, he sits down and gulps a large portion of his now lukewarm coffee. Steve is still silent, but somehow he seems to be less intent on punching walls with his bare hands. Which, on Danny's agenda, is a good thing. He avoided the "I love you", he doesn't know how to reply to it. Or maybe he just did. He really doesn't know what to say. Because he never, even for one second, thought that Steve had any interest in him in that way. He knows about Catherine, he saw her. Very feminine. A far cry from his Jersey charms.

Steve is bad with words. He knows it. Displaying emotion was never really high in the McGarrett household priority list. So he doesn't really know how to reply to Danny, because his unexpected blurting of the three words has pretty much been thefull extent of his display. And Danny talks too much. He talks too much and he always expects Steve to talk, if not as much as him, at least more than what he has been doing so far. He can't do anything sitting on a chair. He needs air, needs to walk for a small while, needs to analyse things because maybe he did made a mess of himself over nothing. Still thinking, he gets up, but instead of going toward the shore, he goes straight to a still seated Danny and hugs him.

The position is awkward, the coffee Danny was clutching is now all over both their clothes and his partner is chuckling in the embrace. But Steve doesn't let go, he can't let go because it is the best he has felt all day. Because somehow he gets it. Danny's not letting Steve out of the woods yet, he will later demands some explanations out of him, but Danno is there, he made coffee, he is jealous of Catherine, he calls him in the middle of the night, and maybe, maybe the trust was never broken. Maybe it was just him and this isn't the end of everything.

"Now, if I could just get up, it'll feel better.

\- “Or we could go upstairs, lie down.”

\- “Oh yeah, totally, I am all for it, but first let me get up."

The position is still awkward and he knows that letting Danno get up would be a good idea, but he’s not ready yet. In a few seconds, maybe. But not now.

The End.


End file.
